Gag Me Graciousness

The following event took place Novemberish '05. I apologize for not immediately sharing this story with you. I came across these photos on my laptop and realized that they (and the meaning behind them) had not yet been shared with the world (read: all 8 of you). Enjoy...

The 6 of us guys live in an apartment. Next door live 3 girls. Pretty much the entire time we've been neighbors, there has existed a friendly (but intensely serious) prank war. It began with them banging on our windows at 3 in the morning. Next was the basic silly string. Then came undergarments smeared with Jello chocolate pudding gracing the front porch. Somewhere along the way, Juanita Daisy (that pig, see November's archives) got involved. Following that were nasty girl-hairballs-from-the-shower-drain, as well as an abundant supply of Maxi pads and submarine-string things ornamenting our windows. Back and forth, and back again we went. Then, on a cold day in December, the boys of Seis Amigos struck the girls next door with unrelenting force. We unleashed the furry. One of my roommates and I, armed with a cardboard box and some plastic bags, marched outside in the wee hours of the morning to find a gift for the 3 ladies next door. Lo and behold, there was the gift, lying frozen stiff on the side of the road, like it had been every time I biked past it throughout the week. The possum was possibly the most horrendous thing I had seen in quite some time. She was a good 15-20 lbs. of soggy death. Oh she was fat! And stunk like no one's business! As we scooped the rodent into the box with our bag covered hands, we were both dry-heaving something fierce. With the pain and trauma of step-1 over, it was time for step-2. We dragged the box-of-death back to our neighbors front porch. After a bang on the door, and a quick scamper back to our apartment, the Seis Amigos had declared victory. Sweet victory it was! The girls had given us an obese, ceramic pig from Mexico named Juanita Daisy. And we had returned the favor with an obese, frozen mass of dead possum from Texas named [it never actually had a name]. The prank of that night has yet to be matched. What could possibly be next...

Hello Bee-utiful...

"The Lord is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made...The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food in due season. You open your hand; you satisfy the desire of every living thing."

J.I. Packer writes, "The psalmist's point is that, since God controls all that happens in the world, every meal, every pleasure, every possession, every bit of sun, every night's sleep, every moment of health and safety, everything else that sustains and enriches life, is a divine gift. And how abundant these gifts are!"

Indeed. Indeed. While your at it, read all of Psalm 145. It'll knock you off you lil' feet.

Matthew 25:1-13 (ESV)

...jazzed up using Photoshop's watercolor filter.

Parable of the Ten Virgins
"Then the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish, and five were wise. For when the foolish took their lamps, they took no oil with them, but the wise took flasks of oil with their lamps. As the bridegroom was delayed, they all became drowsy and slept. But at midnight there was a cry, 'Here is the bridegroom! Come out to meet him.' Then all those virgins rose and trimmed their lamps. And the foolish said to the wise, 'Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.' But the wise answered, saying, 'Since there will not be enough for us and for you, go rather to the dealers and buy for yourselves.' And while they were going to buy, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the marriage feast, and the door was shut. Afterward the other virgins came also, saying, 'Lord, lord, open to us.' But he answered, 'Truly, I say to you, I do not know you.' Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour."

Dizzy Moon

...and another photo from my grandma's farm.

My family has a Christmas tradition that started 6 or so years ago. It's called Chinese food. Before the Christmas Eve church service, we dine at this hole-in-the-wall Chinese place. This is pretty much the only time of the year I eat Chinese, and it's the one day of the year that the Asian food industry has a monopoly on Americans. Being the "Wehner High" business major I am, I can tell you that this is one wise financial move. Bravo, Hunan Empress Express. I mention all this that I might now present you with these: 2 of the greatest fortune cookie scrolls ever to grace my hands (I saved them from the '05 dinner just for you).

"Hungry is the man who finds salvation in a cookie."

"You are the crispy noodle in the vegetarian salad of life."

Farm Day

The top-left photo is one of my best candid shots to date. The pup's name is Henry. He's sleeping...no lie! I knew the photo opportunity was too good to pass up, so at the expense of his dignity I took this picture. Nothing like the life of a dog, eh? Henry is the faithful best friend of my grandma Dorothy. During our Christmas holiday visit to her farm, my brother and I did our best to discover the country boy in us (I'm convinced I have one, it's just buried beneath 20 years of suburbia). We drove the John Deere, did some .22 target practice, and had fun messing around with the skeet launcher. And all the while, I did my best to sport the fashion of good ol' Huckleberry Finn. Fortunately, there would be no painting of fences that day.

The Millennium's 6th Birthday

No, I did not bake a birthday cake for Mr. Millennium. This is the wedding cake of my roommate Jake (now ex-roommate, for obvious reasons). He and his lovely bride got hitched in mid-December. I was an usher, and that's all that matters. Just kidding, the wedding was incredibly awesome and I am honored to know such a studly stud man as Jake. Go get 'em tiger.

As the new year begins, I will leave ya with a nugget of goodness by Arthur Bennett, from his book The Valley of Vision:

"Lord, high and holy, meek and lowly, let me learn by paradox that the way down is the way up, that to be low is to be high, that the broken heart is the healed heart, that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit, that the repenting soul is the victorious soul, that to have nothing is to possess everything, that to bear the cross is to wear the crown, that to give is to receive. Let me find thy light in my darkness, thy joy in my sorrow, thy grace in my sin, thy riches in my poverty, thy glory in my valley, thy life in my death."